…and so it appears that the rioting in Tottenham may not have been caused by the death of a local gangster who shot at a policeman – saved by the bullet embedding in his radio. Now we’re looking more at a gangster with a fake gun, the police shooting twice and…well, it’s all getting tricky.

TheEye avoided the whole incident by hiding in a place that the rioters would never discover…the nearest Job Centre.

The chaos has produced several great opportunities – for race-baiter and general scumbag Lee Jasper to get on television, for Kay Burley to reinforce her reputation on Sky as a moron and, well, steaming piles of other stupidity. Mostly from the rioters who decided to start a demonstration based on principle and quickly realised that nicking a radio alarm clock and some carpet off-cuts was the best outcome. Kudos to the Scot who gave up looting when he realised he needed a pound coin to use a Tescos shopping trolley.

The BBC (almost) produced some comedy gold: “Clasford Stirling, a resident of Tottenham for 32 years, said the area looked like a battlefield…” but they forgot to add “…and then the rioting began.“

The only good thing TheEye could track down is this rather good time-lapse video of Tottenham burning. The rumour is that the riots have caused millions of pounds of improvements.

Not clever of the local ethnic minorities to destroy so many police cars though, as it reduces their main method of local transport. And not a surprise that they raided a retail park with a Comet, JD Sports and Lidls – but toiletries giant Boots remained untouched.