Poetic Crime

June 26, 2010 at 6:00 pm

An all too familiar story followed by some unintentional black humour from today’s Daily Telegraph:

Imran Khan, 19, an amateur cricketer boxer, and Somalian Abdul Said, 21, took 20 seconds to smash open a shop window in Ilford, Essex with a pickaxe and a sledgehammer. Sayid Mohammed, 20, and Adama Belle, 19, put jewellery worth £9,000 into pillow cases. 

Great British names, as Al Murray would say.

But the getaway driver, Mohammed Alasow, 19, had managed to forget to fill up his Rover and the car came to a halt in the middle of the road in Beckton, east London.  

Fail. But look at those ages again before you read that:

… jailed Said and fellow Somalian Alasow – who between them have committed 69 previous offences – for eight years and seven and a half years respectively.

 But the crowning glory, the bits that made oi larf…

An unwitting police officer on routine patrol stopped to assist the gang…

Alasow, speaking in rhyme, told the jury he was in the area trying to buy the stationary getaway car from Belle.

A Somali defendant convicted 69 times aged only 19, who is allowed to deliver his testimony in gangsta rap. It’s probably part of his efnik culcha, innit? And rather than being deported (which is bound to be against his ‘uman rights’) we are now paying for him to play bite-the-prison-pillow for seven  and a half years? You’re not telling us that is cheaper than a one way ticket to Mogadishu, surely?

Despair.