Rather rude, one would have said, for Ross and Russell Bland to leave answerphone messages about having sex with his granddaughter (transcript). However there is some good news.

Andrew Sachs has offered complete forgiveness to Jonathan Ross if he makes the following statement correctly:

“I Rarely Rile people but Retarded Russell bRand and I are Really Remorseful for our Rubbish, Rotten, Rude, Randy Remarks made on Radio about AndRew’s gRandaughter. We tRuly RegRet any Rage, Ridicule, woRRy and embaRRassment Received by AndRew”