Today we learn something new and unspeakably odd about the centuries old hatred between Azerbaijan and Armenia. Reported this week in the unmissable ArmenianDiaspora:

On Monday Azerbaijan’s secret services busted two students from Baku State Engineering University after Heidar Aliev, catching them red-handed – indulging in anti-Azerbaijani erotica.

Yes indeed. Authorities were outraged when two young Azerbaijani men were caught masturbating to a photo of half-Armenian Kim Kardashian.

Under a 2003 patriotism law, it’s an illegal act of “betrayal of motherland, territorial integrity and Azerbaijani ladies.“

Lobzik Byul-Byul (18 years old) and Heidar Azikyv (19 years old) are expected to face charges of high-treason for “succumbing to occupant pornography”.


Friends and family of the traitors have harshly condemned Lobzik and his peer.


Lobzik’s uncle told the reporters on Tuesday: “He deserves the most severe punishment… all these years we thought we are raising a patriotic young Azeri boy only to be eventually disappointed by this pro-Armenian manifesto. Just to think – I taught him his first anti-Armenian jokes, I can’t believe he could betray us so filthily.” 

According to Azerbaijani Education Minister Tophique Mahmedov, the youth are unaware of Azerbaijan’s hot women. 

“We need to promote our local potential in magazines and manuals, so the new generation does not get carried away with politically incorrect breast of Kardashian or other separatist pornography”.

To prevent this ever happening again, law enforcement agencies are “…currently taking measures to remove all images of Kim Kardashian from newspaper-stands, torrents and hard disks of young men in the Republic of Azerbaijan“

Good luck with that.