Amazing stuff from the never-to-be-missed East Anglian Daily Times where we learn of exciting news from Beccles in Suffolk. It’s got to be the best three line news item in the history of history.

Beccles: Firefighters called to report of person trapped under sofa

A confused resident called out fire crews after mistakenly thinking there was someone trapped under his sofa.

The man, of Clowes Court, Beccles, made the call at just before midday and a crew from the town arrived.

However, they discovered it was a false alarm and left 20 minutes later after reassuring the confused homeowner.

The mind boggles. One’s gast is well and truly flabbered.

• How does one become convinced that there is someone under your sofa? 
• What exactly possessed the Clowes Court man to decide to call the fire brigade? 
• Exactly how big is this sofa, that it needed twenty minutes to search under?
• Why was the original headline “Person trapped under sofa” when that was the only untrue bit?