Official: Swine Flu Cure Found

July 29, 2009 at 5:12 pm

Well, that’s it then. We are all officially safe from swine flu.

Serbia’s official emergency swine flu committee have given the go-ahead for a music festival in Guca on the grounds that the locals drink extra-strong spirits and that will successfully see off the flu.

The organisers are delighted, as they were expecting many visitors – especially from Britain. When 10,000 Brits turned up to the Exit music festival in Novi Sad earlier in July there was a peak of swine flu cases, but now that has been clearly shown by the committee to be the fault of locals drinking the wrong type of moonshine.

As the government’s emergency swine flu committee has ruled locals are immune to the virus because of the amounts of high alcohol home-brewed brandy they get through (reports Jutarnji List newspaper via the incomparable Austrian Times), there is clearly only one thing for it…..

….TheEye is going to spend the evening protecting himself with as much medicine as possible.