There are some newspapers that only bring you the news you really need to read. The Austrian Times is not one of them.

We learn the invaluable revelation that Raccoon Bites Off Perverts Penis.

Nope, not making this stuff up.

A raccoon has bitten off a pervert’s penis as he was trying to rape the animal.
Alexander Kirilov, 44, was on a drunken weekend with pals when he leapt on the terrified animal.
“When I saw the raccoon I thought I’d have some fun,” he told stunned casualty surgeons in Moscow.
Now Russian plastic surgeons are trying to restore his mangled manhood.
“He’s been told they can get things working again but they can’t sew back on what the raccoon bit off.
“That’s gone forever so there isn’t going to be much for them to work with,” said one friend.

Riiiiiiight. It’s one way to become famous, we guess.

Serious blogging will be resumed as from the next post but this one couldn’t be allowed to slip by.