Seaside-Tsar: Shortest Government Non-Job Ever?
In a mind-numbing splurge of stupidity, Gordon Brown has apparently created something called a “Seaside Tsar” three days before an election.
Duncan Bannatyne appears on television’s Dragon’s Den, which apparently is a capitalist version of Professor Heinz Wolff‘s classic show The Great Egg Race, and he’s been promised the new job if Labour win.
But let’s take a look at this bloke and his qualifications anyway, just…well…because we can. His fascination with the seaside doubtless began when he was thrown out of the Royal Navy (with a trip to the glasshouse at Colchester en route) for throwing an officer off a boat landing jetty.
Mr Brown announced that he would appoint Mr Bannatyne, who spends much of his spare time at his villa on the French Riviera, as an adviser on regenerating Britain’s seaside resorts if Labour win the election.
Yes, right, we can see the fit instantly. Riviera….Bournemouth. You’d be hard pressed to tell the difference, wouldn’t you? Perhaps his regeneration plans will begin with destroying what’s left of the social life in coastal towns by extending the hated smoking ban – as President of the charity No Smoking Day he’s already nicely integrated into the Labour anti-smoking Geheime Staatspolize heirachy.
However, the appointment of Mr Bannatyne has baffled Mr Brown’s opponents. Last year, the tycoon, 61, told a newspaper that he spent 46 days at his £3 million holiday home in Mougins in the south of France.
Baffled everyone except the doctor who prescribes Gordoom’s happy pills, more like. So why has the Prime Mentalist dangled the carrot of this job despite being only hours away from watching the removal vans turn up?
…has a fortune recently estimated to be worth £320 million. He has donated money to the Labour Party.
Oh. Ah. Right. Shouldn’t all this blatant jobs for donors nonsense be wildly nose-bleed-inducingly collar-feelingly illegal? Who cares? He’ll never be given the job and all of this stupidity will be over (or much reduced) by Friday lunchtime.
I used to belong to one of Bannatyne’s fitness clubs ASE. It had a super pool and I enjoy swimming. But about a year ago, when Bannatyne was sooking up to Brown and also spouting off about smoking I decided enough is enough. So I no longer swim because I wasn’t prepared to give the man £50 a month for the privilege.
Nasty little creep and his nasty attitude. (Did you see the chef prog on TV with him?) The way he spoke to them it was appalling.
Interesting stuff about Bannatyne, perhaps Daves purge of Quangos should begin with the newest and go backwards?
My favorite seaside town recieved an EU grant for regeneration but not before the Regional Goverment and County had taken their slices for ‘administration’. Then their was a 12 month ‘consultation exercise’ by Consultants which took a large chunk of what was left before advising a couple of new street lamps and some more benches.
I like that attitude. Our vote doesn’t just come around every 5 years, it’s cast every day in how and where we spend out money. Good for you.
Everyone must feel “ownership” of these things, which means fake consultations, which means lawyers and activists, which means money. Our money.
I hope they were nice benches.
EU regeneration grants are much more fun down in Spain. Fewer arty things and more useful capital projects. They build huge wide motorways across the scrubland and stick up billboards every 500 yards proclaiming “Paid for by the taxpayers of Croydon” just to piss the visiting Brits off. That’s the game we should be playing.