In terrifying news today, we learn the shocking news that farmers sometimes carry farm tools to do farming jobs.

Tony Martin became the hero of everyone who has been the victim of crime for shooting Fred Barras who, with Brendan Fearnon, had broken in to his remote farmhouse in Norfolk in 1999. He was given a five year sentence for manslaughter, when most of the country thought that he should have been given a medal and marksmanship lessons to ensure that he got two from two next time.

Anyway, the BBC doesn’t see it in the same light, so under the provocative and slanted headline of “Vigilante Farmer In Weapon Probe” we learn that his car was stopped earlier this month.

He was arrested by policemen who doubtless think that Waitrose chicken nuggets are grown in their plastic bags in a warehouse in Swindon for possessing an offensive weapon…a farm sickle. Generously “no further action was being taken”.

In a victory for crime-solving statistics, though, they promptly nicked him for driving without a seatbelt.