The Courier newspaper in Findlay, Ohio, has featured on this blog previously. Mostly full of parochial affairs, it does however feature a regular and occasionally interesting summary of crimes committed in the area. For that reason bloggers in search of the occasional article should bookmark it as a bi-monthly glance for amusing trifles and other dessert items. This week does not disappoint:

From the public records of the Findlay Police Department and the Hancock County Sheriff’s Office:

There are the usual warning signs that the apocalypse is truly apon us, and that we are all doomed.

• A man was arrested Saturday for stealing Insane Clown Posse shot glasses at Spencer’s Gifts in the Findlay Village Mall.
• A woman was cited early Sunday morning for having an open container of rum and Coke on a sidewalk in the 1200 block of Morey Avenue.
• A man was cited for having an open container of Bud Light outside a bar in the 200 block of Crystal Avenue.

But the killer crime has to be:

• A woman called the police early Saturday morning during an argument with her husband after he claimed that the woman’s daughter performed oral sex on him, and the daughter was better at it.

Marvellous. As Nick Ross from Crimewatch said “Don’t have nightmares, do sleep well”….