Designer Dominic Wilcox has come up with a Pinocchio-style ‘finger-nose stylus’ that lets you use your phone hands free, reports Wired.

He came up with the design after he found that he wanted to use his touchphone in the bath. A wet hand is not a good touchscreen navigation device and he found himself using his nose to scroll. But he found it hard to see precisely where his nose was touching the screen.

His idea was to create a nose extension ‘finger’ that would allow for navigation while holding the phone firmly in his one dry hand or – to put it another way – in his one not-masturbating hand.

Because that, surely, is the only use for the thing.

Wilcox has a track record for creating extraordinary items such as luxury skimming stones that are covered in 24ct gold leaf and contained within a leather pouch. He has also created stickers that can be placed on bikes or cars to make them look as though they are rusty and old as an anti-theft device. Another notable product is “War Bowl“, a bowl made out of melted plastic toy soldiers.

He needs to up his medication. Quickly.