If Gordoom were to build a snowman:

He would first commission a report into the feasibility of snowmen, with due regard to transgender snow’person’ issues.

He would then ignore the conclusions of the expert report and ask Ed Balls what to do.

He would then get Damian McBride to plant stories in the press that David Cameron had caught an STD from sex with a snowman.

He would introduce a new tax on working people to pay for snowman awareness classes for all minorities, whilst telling us that no-one would lose out over the introduction of the new tax.

He would go on YouTube to tell us with a scary grin that snowman numbers had risen under Labour and the Tories would melt every working class person’s snowman with a blowtorch whilst giving tax breaks to offshore snowmen.

He would also assure us that helicopter numbers per snowman were perfectly adequate.

He would then pay a private company via PFI vast sums of our future taxes to build a snowman in every Labour constituency whilst making sure the contracts were so incompetently drawn up that cancelling the snowmen would cost more than building them.

He would leak further stories to the press that snowmen were all his idea, and Tony Blair had never built a snowman, oh no.

He would then solemnly promise that spending vast sums on the snowmen was an investemnt in our children’s future, unlike the nasty Tories.

McBride would plant another story letting us know that any future tory snowmen were temporary unlike Labour snowmen, which would last for a thousand years.

Then after asking the union bosses if they agreed with the building of snowmen he would find out that Rupert Murdoch didn’t like snowmen and shelve the whole idea whilst denying in a press conference that he had ever intended to shovel a single flake.