So this government is finally going to bite the bullet and privatise the Royal Mail.

For those who aren’t old enough, that was how we used to send email. Now it’s only how we send blueys, brithday cards and junk mail. If you ask your grandparents, they may well recall a time when it was safer to post your valuables than go for a swim off Amity, and if you wanted a concrete block broken your first thought wasn’t to stick a stamp on it.

With apologies to those with fond memories; these days the nationalised relic rebranded as The Post Office is riddled with workshy dossers who enjoy more Spanish Practices than the London Underground. It’s equally amusing and depressing to hear on Al-Beeb a dinosaur from the union braying about how unnecessary the move is. Apparently an £8.3bn pensions deficit and annual losses exceeding £200m is the hallmark of a healthy business.

Politically this is an ideal time to do it. Lord Fondlebum has already had a stab at selling 49% of the Post Office (foiled not by the unions or unruly backbenchers but by the fact that only TNT expressed any interest and they weren’t serious) so the Labour Party will look partisan in opposing it. The Coalition has enough support. Vince Cable introduced it, Ed Davey is the Post Office minister, and privatisation/co-op style split + Post Office in the public sector is a Lib Dem idea straight out of their manifesto.

As usual, it doesn’t really matter what you want. It’s an EU responsibility anyway. Royal Mail is already part-privatised under the euphemism of ‘deregulation’ – a Dec 1997 EU directive (implemented over an extended period to give mail companies time to adjust, and they didn’t bother) opening up all mail services in Europe. It means that any private mail company – or, indeed, any of the state-owned, subsidised European mail companies – can bid for each others’ contracts. So it’s not all that unexpected after all.

Even if bits of Scotland only get mail a few times a week who cares? In Australia you have to go to the nearest town to collect mail from a PO Box and civilisation hasn’t descended to Mad Max levels because of it.

Oh well, prepare for lots of BBC/political noise and fuss over nothing.