So what is this year’s trendy Guardian reader going to be buying the nephews for Christmas? Not toys with guns of course, because they foster masculinity and an attitude of self-reliance.

No. How about Islamikawaii dolls?

Note the rainbow of skin tones, and the absence of sharp edges and points. Suitable for culturally sensitive children from ages 2 to 45.

Each comes with its own prayer rug.

Suicide belts sold separately.