It’s “Saint” Mandela Day
Break out the tyres and get the witchdoctors to randomly select people to necklace! You have no choice; the United Nations have decreed that you must.
For those of our blog visitors who live on Mars and haven’t heard of Saint Nelson, his life can basically be summarised as:
- Blew some stuff up then took a holiday till it all died down.
- Returned from that holiday as an advocate for not blowing stuff up.
- Negotiated a deal with a Hawaiian shirt manufacturer after his release.
- Took the credit for the end of apartheid, even though that was really done by people (many white) who never advocated murder and torture as political tools.
- Took his eye of the political ball and as a result left the South African political scene focused around “AIDS is made up” “Raping children under three will cure AIDS” and “I sing about machine guns and I’m in charge”.
If you think it’s bad now, wait until he finally dies. It’ll make Diana’s death look like The Man Who Never Was*. At least a month of national mourning, including the public stoning of anybody wearing a tie that isn’t black. A levy on the Council Tax to pay for the erection of gilded statues of the great man in every London Borough. The renaming of a prominent building like Buckingham Palace to Mandela Palace and some sort of refrigerated tomb in South Africa where Nelson’s remains can be displayed, Lenin style, for the tourists.
Every employee of the BBC will find a reason to fly out there to attend the funeral and go into such an emotional meltdown in the resulting outpouring of grief that the Beeb could well disappear up its own arse.
Next up, “Happy McGuinness Day”.
* Hat-tip to Ancient Mariner.
Once a “Terr” .. always a “Terr” …
Ahh .. the fabled “Major Martin” of “The Man Who Never Was” …. 😉
Anyway ….
Raoul Moat ends up in Hell .. and Old Nick meets him at the Guardroom & says … “We don’t permit dandruff down here lad .. I hope you’ve brought your own Head ‘n Sholulders” …
Yes, leopards and spots…although thats probably waaacist somehow nowadays.
Recently, what with bored researchers giving the mystery a bit of a pop in the hope of getting a book out of it, “Major Martin” has turned into The Man Who Might Have Been Steve/Dave/Eric/our missing chimneysweep. I wish they’d leave a good tale well alone.
Ah, this looks like your coat, Sir.
I can’t wait for McGuiness day…free pints all round.
I’m just surprised that “Elmer” hasn’t tried to claim it as an original .. like they tried to claim the capture of the Enigma machine …
Err .. would that be for the typo .. or the piss-poor joke then ? …. 😉
Now that will indeed be a day for “Splicers” all round …. 😀 😀 😀
U-571, which was never actually captured? Great stuff. I forget what it was called now, but there was another recent-ish film where one Septic volunteer pilot won the Battle of Britain for us.
Although guaranteed some tit of a spotty adolescent barman will insist on trying to draw a shamrock on top.
McGuinness Day – you have 5 minutes to drink your pint and get out…
Witnesses will be sure that you were definitely seen with that pint, but years and millions of pounds later an inquiry will say that you could have been having a nice cup of tea at your aunts house round the corner.
There’s not a city in Scotland which doesn’t have streets named after this man. Â I continue to call the ones in Dundee by their original names.
The BBC were falling over themselves with their well rehearsed plaudits yesterday. Â You’re lucky ASE, you didn’t see it.
“The Beeb could well disappear up its own arse.” – So he will have done some good!
How many blocks of flats on council estates are called ‘Nelson Mandela House’? Must admit the thought occurred to me that when he does die (we all do you know) it will be Diana but on a much much much larger scale. The UN will declare god knows how many days of mourning. Meanwhile back in the world that is not PC or politically left or the elite who have to show willing, nobody will really care outside of South Africa.
…but not in a good way, that’s the trouble. It’ll be spectacular but ugly.
I only missed it because I avoid the BBC whenever possible. On an average week I’ll only watch QT for the liveblogging. Keeps me sane 🙂
The block of flats in Only Fools and Horses was called NMH, if I recall correctly. And student unions everywhere too. I actually used that to weed out some of the more obvious hotbeds of lefty nonsense when I was considering which Uni’s to apply for.
What street in Dundee is that S/R there isn’t a Mandella Street and Nelson Street is nameed after someone I assume this blog has no beef with.
Maybe you should try the Gheghis Khan University of Ulan Bator, I think they have a student union named after P.W Botha
He’s one of my heros. Along with Archbishop Tutu.
But that’s me, I believe that black people had the right to be treated as equals.
Maybe you were never in one of these countries and saw human beings being treated like dogs by none too bright white people.
And equally I wouldn’t go there. Naming student union buildings after controversial characters, from wherever on the spectrum, is undergrad political posturing at its most tedious and therefore the place should be avoided.
I don’t see anyone here objecting to universal sufferage, equality of opportunity and being treated equally under the law, do you?
Yes I fully agree, almost as tedious as gross over simplifications of things. Not sure what your agenda is here, I assume you won’t admit to being anti-black or pro-extreme right even if you come across as both. Maybe it’s just Nelson you have a personal grievance with?
In our indecent haste to canonise this man … let’s not forget how well the African Necklace Company did under his “directorship” …
Surprisingly my left leaning city has no streets of tower blocks named after him though my former London borough of Haringey certainly did.
I like Morgan Freemans films though.