….the hour is late, and things are getting desperate. It doesn’t look like Jennifer Aniston is turning up this year either, even though the table was booked for 8pm as it has been in the same restaurant every 14th February for a decade. Maybe my note was lost in the post again….sometimes the glue doesn’t hold those newspaper cut-out letters on the envelope very well.  And Jen, my darling, that restraining order really wasn’t necessary.

So, in one final roll of the dice, TheEye resorts to online dating….

Bugger.