It’s been a while since these pages were graced by the oddness that is the Austrian Times, and so to remedy that fact we are proud to present… tattooed fish.

Being a collector and occasional breeder of tropical fish, TheEye twitches at this story in a Don’t Try This At Home sort of way. Mental images of using the Sun and a magnifying glass spring to mind.

Anyway: “A fishy new trend for tattooing tropical fish has been condemned by marine experts in China.

Pet shops in Chengdu, south west China, have begun a craze for using lasers to etch images on the scales of parrot fish showing ‘lucky’ Chinese characters like ‘happiness’ or pictures of flowers and rainbows. The fish are placed in special tattooing machine and emerge the other end with their images permanently engraved on their skin.

Pet shop owner Bao Fu explained: “The machine is quite choosy about which fish it can cope with. Most of the fish tattooed are parrot fish, since they have a high survival rate.”

But the craze has been condemned by animal rights campaigners. “It it cruel and unnatural. For every one that survives there are dozens that die in laser accidents,” said marine expert Zhang Zhicheng.”

Die in laser accidents? That sounds more like James Bond’s department.

GoldFishFinger – “No Mr. Bond, I expect you to die!“