Alan Duncan has gone and done it this time. This may or may not beat his call for the assasination of last years Miss America but it is a typical Duncan foot-in-mouth.

He hasn’t been popular with his colleagues or the Tory grassroots for several years now – he has a penchant for saying things off the cuff which could at best be described as stupid to the point of requiring lobotomisation. He also can’t even find an appropriate nutty corner of politics to locate ideological soulmates because his journey across the political spectrum has resembled a convoy ship zig-zagging to avoid U-Boats.

A man with the unlikely name of Heydon Prowse, editor of Don’t Panic magazine, became slightly less unfamous recently by climbing over Alan Duncan’s garden fence and digging a pound-shaped flowerbed in the MP’s garden in protest at his expenses claims for gardening. As surely as night follows day, it became a YouTube hit.

Seizing the chance to upgrade himself from 18-carat tit to full weapons-grade twat (that’s okay on a non-sweary blog because Cameron says it) he invited Prowse to the House of Commons to meet him. The heavily armed policemen who would have seen the hidden camera on their X-ray machines appear to have let him through with it for a laugh.

We are treated to such gems as:
“No one who has done anything in the outside world, or is capable of doing such a thing, will ever come into this place ever again, the way we are going.”
Too late, sunshine, too late.

“I spend my money on my garden and claim a tiny fraction based on what is proper. And I could claim the whole bloody lot, but I don’t.”