Ever wanted to be somebody else? TheEye has always fancied being James Bond, as he always gets the great gadgets, saves the world and sleeps with thousands of women. And rather like Dr. Who he seems able to change his face every other series without anybody noticing.

Rather like you will be able to once you have chipped your hackable secure compulsory optional UK National ID Card.

With 12 minutes effort from somebody who knows what they are doing you too can have an ID card in the name of Bruce Willis or Brad Pitt. Stephen Hawking is probably an identity to avoid unless you are going for the heavily-disguised undercover secret agent look.

The Mail claim to have used a few security experts to successfully clone a RFID chip of the type going in to the National ID card with a complete false identity. If this is true then the much vaunted cards, which were supposed to stop terrorists, benefit fraudsters, illegal immigrants, climate change deniers and other evil-doers will only be useful for propping up wobbly table legs in restaurants or chopping up a line of charlie in the toilets.

So it goes from bad to worse. Previously these were just a vast invasion of our own privacy. Now it seems that the bloke standing next to you on the bus could actually – according to his wallet – BE you. Wait until you need a CRB check for anything. Enjoy that moment when you try to fly to Prague on your stag do and find out that for a joke your Best Man has altered your card to make you Osama bin Laden. Ho ho ho, what a jolly jape! you will inwardly smile as they begin an all-orifice search.

It is essential that the incoming Conservative govenment stick by its promise to abolish these cards and the whole misguided project.