Barack Obama isn’t the only author in his family. The new First Dog, Bo, has his own book deal. I kid you not.

Mascot Books will publish Bo, America’s Commander in Leash, a children’s book, next week. Doubtless the Teleprompter Of The United States (TOTUS) will show B Hussein Obama some words him to repeat and for the BBC and CNN to fawn over. They will probably require drool-buckets near their cameras too.

According to the publisher’s website, the book will follow “Bo on an exciting adventure as he learns all about the White House and experiences the traditions that make it such a special place.” Ah, just watch 25 DVD’s from Walmart instead, sunshine. It was enough for Gordoom.

According to Sky News, Mascot Books has been researching the book for two months, well before the Obamas had even settled on a dog, but even then, when your (non-Muslim) intitials are BO then how shoved up your rear sphincter do you need to be to name your dog after yourself? His head must be so far inserted that he can see out between his own front teeth.

Commander in Leash will feature “special appearance[s] by President Obama, Michelle Obama, Senator Ted Kennedy, and Vice President Joe Biden!” according to Mascot’s website. Or jugeared twat, opinionated twat, murdering twat and retarted twat as The G.O.T. might phrase it instead. Kennedy facilitated the Obamas’ acquisition of Bo, as the Portuguese water dog came from the same breeder as Kennedy’s.

Mary-Jo’s family might well think that Kennedy’s choice of a water dog was a tad untactful considering that he is a murdering bastard who is going to burn in the seventh ring of Dante’s Inferno when we are finally rid of the scumbag. With a red-hot poker shoved….

…ooops, it’s a non-sweary blog. Forgot that for a minute.