It’s that day of the year again…the one where you have to choose between a pub full of drunken idiots who had an Irish great-great-grandfather or a pub full of English people who are miserable because they’ve been forced out of their local for the night by shamrock-bedecked Guinness quaffers.

Life, however could be even more miserable if you are a lefty. From the completely nutjob Huffington Post, these are some examples of how much fun you could be having if you were stark raving mad:

“Green Your St. Patrick’s Day Partying.”

3. Vegan eatin’: Vegan corned “beef” and cabbage
I’ve never tried this one, but I’ll say this: I’m increasingly impressed with imitation meat meals. Especially vegan junk food (like Foodswings in Brooklyn). But if you want to reduce the impact of your St. Patrick’s Day food — or if you want to cater to your friends who don’t eat meat, here’s a recipe for Vegan corned “beef” and cabbage.

4. Have a clothing swap party
Recession BONUS: Dress in green and bring clothes you don’t wear anymore to trade with friends. It’s the cheapest, greenest wardrobe option around! Here is the cheesiest possible video explaining the rules of clothing swap parties.

5. Try greener lighting
…which is to say none! That’s right — party by moonlight. Or candlelight. Prove that you can do better than Earth Hour while partying.

Saving you the effort of clicking, the missing ones are (1) drink local beer (2) don’t throw things away and (6) is work from home tomorrow.

TheEye is not going anywhere near these as suggestions, although clothing removal parties are popular in the Master Bedroom of Eye Towers. Seeing the state of the Indian takeaway on the second shelf of the fridge, (2) is definitely not the way forward.

Better ideas eco-friendly ideas:

* Vomit only in a re-usable bag, and if possible share your bag with others.
* Use spinach to make your beer green instead of earth-unfriendly artificial dyes.
* Insist police drive you to jail in a hybrid vehicle.