Almost certainly Chris Hoy is a thoroughly decent cove. He may even have a personality despite being voted BBC Sports Personality of the Year which, from the recent results, probably means the opposite.

Today he was awarded a knighthood. Eh? Why? He cycled around in a circle in Peking this year a few times. Good for him but why does that justify our Prime Mentalist telling our Queen to tap him on both shoulders with a sword?

His only real claim to fame is beating Rebecca Adlington to the ‘Personality’ award; a swimmer only really well known for having a nose so terrifying that if she painted it black and swam the backstroke it would convince everyone that Jaws was alive and well.

“A knighthood is a unique thing,” said Hoy. No it isn’t. “You can’t compare it to anything else – it’s something that money can’t buy. You can if you are a ZanuLabour donor. Why not buy a peerage instead?

Sir Terry Pratchett deserves his knighthood for outstanding services to literature over many years, and TheEye was very upset to hear of the onset of his Altzheimers. Juliet Lyon, director of Prison Reform Trust got a CBE when in reality she should have been slowly garotted for shilling on behalf of the scum of our society.

Great people like Dennis Goodwin, chairman of the First World War Veterans’ Association who was made an MBE, deserve their recognition – but their awards are degraded and sullied by the politically motivated ones mixed in amongst the 966 names announced.

It’s about time we re-thought this honours farce.

UPDATE: TheEye observes that no-one in Guernsey has been honoured at all for the first time since 1998. Since then 55 people have been honoured but this year nobody makes the cut at all.