With apologies, but this has got to be a contender for Weirdness of the Month:

Four men from Bergholz, Ohio, were arrested this week suspected of an Amish beard-cutting attack.

Authorities say a rival Amish group held their victims down against their will and gave them unwanted cuts to their beards and hair.

Really.

Signs that your Amish teen is in trouble:

1. He sometimes stays in bed until after 6 a.m.
2. Under his bed you find pictures of women without bonnets.
3. He defiantly says, “If I had a radio, I’d listen to rap.”
4. When you criticize him he yells, “Thou suckst!”
5. His name is Jebadiah, but he prefers to be known as ‘Jeb Daddy.’
6. You discover his secret stash of colourful socks.
7. He uses the slang expresion: “Talk to the hand coz the beard ain’t listening.”
8. He was recently pulled over for driving his horse and cart under the influence of cottage cheese.
9. He has taken to wearing his big black hat backwards.

The best thing about making jokes about Amish people online is that they don’t even know it.