There are times when you have just got to know when to keep your mouth shut. Like when the Sergeant-Major asks for volunteers or McDoom is looking for replacement ministers.

In a classic example of how not to do it, a Saudi man has been arrested for boasting about his sex life on television, the English-language daily Arab News reports.

Jeddah resident Mazen Abdul Jawad was arrested after he appeared last week on Red Line, a program on Lebanon-based LBC television which is also popular in Saudi Arabia, the newspaper said.

On the program Mr Jawad said he first had sex with a neighbour when he was 14, and he also described in detail some of his later adventures.

He explained how he uses the Bluetooth function on his cellphone to try to pick up Saudi women, who are forbidden to mix with or reveal their faces to men who are not related to them. He also gave a recipe for an aphrodisiac.

The segment sparked about 100 complaints to local justice officials, leading to his arrest, the paper said.

Mr Jawad could face charges under Saudi Arabia’s strict Islamic sharia law of speaking openly about vice and admitting he engaged in pre-marital sex, it said, adding that if convicted he could be jailed and flogged.

“The program presents anomalies and deviancy in society that are unacceptable and immoral and should be punished according to sharia,” Ahmad Qasim Al-Ghamdi, Mecca head of the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice, the religious police, said.

Or maybe his “deviancy” extends to wanting to play Pick Up The Soap’ and ‘Whip Me Harder’ too. Whichever, it just goes to show that, as you see worse on BBC daytime chat-shows just about every day, a Sharia court set up in Broadcasting House would be kept quite busy in the flogging’n’stoning department.

Just imagine…all those years of BBC appeasement wasted.