Well temporarily stun TheEye with an item of avian plumage. We learn from the BBC that people drink on holiday.

No, contain your shock, horror and righteous indignation. And its phrased in a very negative way too…booze…not alcohol or fine local wines. It’s 8 drinks a day, which they multiply by 10 for an ‘average’ 10 day holiday and then guess at 2.5 “units” per drink giving a nice round total of 200 “units”.

More than a quarter said they ended up drinking three times more than normal.

Yes, it’s called a holiday for a reason. The clue is in the word.

But 70% of the 3,500 adults questioned by the Department of Health said they plan to make September the “new January” by cutting back.

Ah, the Dept of Health. Right, now we are getting somewhere. A survey with an agenda. And how can you make something a “new January”. Is that like New Labour and just a stupid joke on the back of a fag packet? Or does such a thing really exist? Do you get two birthdays a year? Or is, in fact, this just a made-up phrase? In politics the word gaffe only exists in newspapers – nobody ever uses it down the pub. A task for our readers…report back here the next time you hear someone say “new January” down the boozer. Prize for the winner.

Frankly if you’ve escaped from McDoom and his comrades for a while then you’re going to want to get pissed to celebrate…and need to be pissed to go back.

But most people plan to curb their drinking over the next month. One in five surveyed pledged…blah blah blah…

You’ve just told us that everyone is going on a bender, so it’s natural that they will come off that bender when they get back. Simples. It’s not everyone on a sudden health kick.

And where have the BBC regurgitated this silly-season non-story press release from? Know Your Limits (a fake charity paid for by you) wrote it for the Dept of Health (paid for by you) to send to the BBC (paid for by…ah, you’re seeing a pattern now).

There’s a lot more to the article if reading the sanctimonous spweings of self-righteous tossers telling us that we are all doomed because some survey-weasel spoke to ten people heading back from the Costa del Sol who’d found the first English bar showing the football and ordered paella and chips is your thing, but if it isn’t then ignore it.

TheEye hates August because for news it is silly season month. If only August could be the New May 2010 because then we’d be having a General Election.