As has been giggled about in countless other places and in the midst of us poor taxpayers being promised a windfarm in every front garden whether we need our electric toothbrushes to work when its blowing a bit or not, Britain’s only windmill factory is closing through lack of orders.

The workers are peeved about the whole thing – not for any environmental reasons but simply because they will have to use ordinary toothbrushes now, so they went on strike and occupied their factory.

In what can only be described as acts of pure generosity, the Danish owners of the factory didn’t do what TheEye would have done – kept quiet about the whole occupation / criminal trespass / theft / vandalism thing, gone down the pub and bung a group of likely looking lads half a ton each and the keys to a lockup full of baseball bats. No, instead they told the police who promptly turned up, found a warm office and a kettle and started fondling their truncheons whilst “monitoring” the situation.

The owners were also mindful that the vandals had no working toothbrushes so, doubtless on the advice of local dentists, stopped food being taken in to them to avoid cavities and tooth decay. At no extra charge, security guards were posted on the doors to enforce this thoughtfulness – for which they may now be taken to court.

The Rail Maritime and Transport union made a formal complaint to the police over the weekend saying that they thought they had an agreement to take the 10 dropouts hot food because apparently they had ransacked every staff locker in the factory and there weren’t any Pot Noodles left.

General Secretary Bob Crow called the withholding of food “an affront to basic human rights”, although despite this sit-in going into its third week you notice that no-one is asking for aftershave or deodorant.

This will help them blend in with the bearded weirdies who are expected to pitch more teepees outside the factory in time for Vestas to attempt to re-occupy their own property on Tuesday (tomorrow). The police, in the meantime, have sent out for reinforcements of free-range doughnuts and coffee-free coffee for their office.

Today, however, much high-jinkery occured outside the head office of the Department of Energy and Climate Change in London by students backing the workers’ sit-in.

They glued themselves together.

Now TheEye has always been confused…if someone chains themself to railings to protest against Iraq / Afghanistan / changing the shape of an OXO cube then why put effort into cutting them free and arresting them? Just leave them there! Especially if they’ve gone for the dramatic option and swallowed the key. A few days of the great British rain combined with having to sort through your own waste to find it again would discourage them from doing it a second time.

The same with glueing yourselves together – its a great opportunity to network and socialise! Meet new people and chat up-close to old friends! Find out who wears deodorant!

The police also have this thing about putting people out when they voluntarily set themselves on fire. Ha! Fall in 18 inches of water and the police will conduct a health and safety assessment of your kicking, convulsing, drowning body before letting someone who is actually trained to swim go and fish you out a bit later. But a box of Swan Vestas and a can of petrol….you’ve never seen so many fire-resistant blankets appear.