Despite not existing as a corporeal being, TheEye is delighted to note the election of Kseniya Sukhinova (20) as the new Miss World.

Kseniya (if we may be so familiar) from north-west Russia (TheEye has her telephone number but isn’t telling*), beat Miss India and Miss Trinidad and Tobago into second and third place in the annual letch-a-thon held this year in Johannesburg.

The competition was originally due to be held in October in the rather chillier location of Kiev but due to concerns over the security of the participants after Russia invaded Georgia it was moved to the much warmer climes of South Africa.

This may have not pleased the onlookers who were queuing to watch the swimsuit category.

She is currently studying engineering administration at the Tyumen Oil and Gas University so may not be a barrel of laughs (pun intended) over breakfast though.

Speaking through a translator “I think I can help people and I want to help people and today if I walk away with this crown I will do that.”

Yep…don’t bother with more than a single night.

The contestants from the British Isles (including Laura Coleman – Miss Leicestershire and Miss England) were not among the favourites. With Laura, there may be a requirement for breakfast – possibly a full English fry-up with extra bacon (TheEye skillfully avoided an eggs or sausage joke there, you notice, but please replace mentally if you wish) since winning Miss England as she apparently disgracefully bloated by one size to a whole size 10(!) and was told by modelling agencies to slim as she had become “too chunky”.

* Hint: She lives in Nizhnevartovsk if you want to phone the local Directory Enquiries.