The Eye likes to cast its gaze over trivia as much as the burning issues of the day, hence this bit of fun.

The always indispensable Croydonian often publishes polls which genuinely defy belief and he has continued this fine pattern with a survey of our Gallic neighbours “Is the Apocalypse upon us? A poll has the answers“.

However I offer in return the news that Frenchmen believe that they need bigger condoms*.

The fantastically-named “Institute of Condom Consultancy” in Singen, Germany, asked 10,500 men across 25 countries to measure their John Thomas and put the number into a database.

Frenchmen seem to think they need on a average a 6.09 inch long plastic raincoat, which is about an inch longer than your average Greek bloke. Apparently they are the worst endowed in Europe.

The Director of the Institute (and where was that job advertised, eh?) Jan Vinzenz Krause won’t speculate on the honesty of the test subjects but as someone who worked on a prototype of a spray-on latex aerosol delivered condom you have to worry about his personal life.

Serious subjects will return anon.

*Sorry, mostly in metric which the Eye doesn’t do, and no link to the report itself – only to Fox News.